TROLL NOIR

Ok, so I paid off Liz, the owner of this joint, to give me access to the blog. The truth has to be told. Us trolls have made this game, Troll Noir, so you know what it is really like out there for trollkind. It isn’t all brie and camembert and living under bridges.

You can download the PDF for free HERE. Or help us do some good in the world, by purchasing a physical copy HERE. All proceeds from physical copy sales will be donated to the Butterfly Project.

Sigh.

No, it’s chaos out there. ‘Blin causing havoc, fairies thinking they can trade human children for glitter, poor dwarven mining conditions. There ain’t no one except a good gumshoe available to dig deep into the corruption in the city. And good gumshoes are hard to find these days..

Life as a gumshoe isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be. Ain’t no glamour, pays in (cheese) crumbs, and you’re more likely to wake up in an alley with a shiner than catching the bad guy. And now you can play that life, my life.

The city is a rough place. It ain’t for the faint of heart. The Billy Goats Gruff has been running their switch-a-roo con for years. That thief Bilbo keeps causing trouble. Notice any rings missing? Oh, and that Hilda? Don’t get me started about that kid. And ain’t no clean copper out in the city, so it’s up to a troll gumshoe to get to the bottom of things.

So why do I do it? Get up each morning with a wheyover, curd stains on my tie, shake off the blood and dirt from my fedora, and head back out to figure out what’s wrong with the city? Maybe it’s stubbornness? Maybe I don’t like bad guys getting away with it? Maybe I don’t like being outsmarted by the bad guys. This noggin’ isn’t made of wood, though it does get knocked around like firewood.

Why should you be a gumshoe? Beats me, kid. Do you have a troll’s nose? Can you smell when things are wrong? You got to have a troll’s eyes, so you can spot clues. A troll’s ears, so you can tell someone’s lying. And a troll’s skin, tough enough to handle any dustup. (If you got a troll’s taste, then we can talk cheese vintages at least.)

You still want to be a gumshoe? You think you can change the city for the better? Ok, you got gumption at least, kid. Pack your heater, put on that trusty trenchcoat, and keep your peepers open and your nostrils flaring. You never know what you might run into in Troll Noir.